October 2017


Reconnect. Although it seems to have negative connections, something must have disconnected to reconnect.  Yet, sometimes it is just growth and forward movement that breaks the connection. This past summer I had two amazing reunions.

One was with girls I meet in Sunday school when I was 4 years old and hung with until I moved in grade 8.  I mean we did everything together, sleep overs, hiking and usually with lunch involved,   hide and seek around the light post on Second avenue or just walking around town so we could talk and or search for boys. We grew up together and shared or lives with each other .  Yet we all went our separate ways. It was a small town and didn’t provide a lot of job opportunities, particularly for women. Before the reconnect event people asked if I was afraid. I didn’t have any fear while that was 100%  true …..I had the fear of driving through Toronto. What happens if you don’t enjoy them? It just wasn’t an issue it was the excitement of reconnecting that was the motivation. I didn’t know these people so it was just like meeting strangers and I usually found something I liked about people.

I have never been so wrong. I did know these people. I knew them intimately. I want you to know those friends that you knew when you where so young you didn’t have any filters, any rules, and experiences that teach you how to act in relationships. They are special!  I’m not sure  this experience can ever be recreated. These friends and the uniqueness of these relationships has to do with the times.  It was a small town, a safe town. As children we had freedom. Freedom to wander, freedom to call on friends just knock on the door and be invited in. Freedom  to eat over, sleep over or sit for hours and do nothing but talk. Our parents  felt safe knowing we were nearby and everybody watching out for everyone else. It was a community in the best sense of the word. And this community built relationships that are the foundation I still stand on today. I may not have seen these 4 amazing women for 50 years but they were with me ever moment of every day.  They taught me how to connect with others, they taught me about community, about friendship, about love, about caring, about laughter, about secrets, about being. I owe them so much and yet I took them for granted.

I know this because I had a second reunion this summer my University class reunion. I loved it as well but for different reasons. Mostly it taught me how special my childhood was. I spent my university years in Toronto, loved it because of its lack of intimacy.  Loved it because I could get lost in MY work . I found out who I was, I found out what I wanted to do. I found out what mattered to me, without the distraction of relationship. I met me. Lots of time I felt alone and scared and had to learn to rely on myself and find my own way.  It’s not that I didn’t make friends, it just they were just as busy. The course was heavy, difficult and expensive. We were all trying to succeed in a very large competitive world. I didn’t fit in and yet I was supposed to be exactly where I was, learning exactly what I was learning. I stand on this foundation as well, fortunately it is on top of the solid foundation of my youth. I have the ability to pick out the stones to stand on, enjoy the learning and understand me! This is all  because of the friends I spent so much time with as an  open, innocent child. What a life! I am so grateful for re-connections and all it teaches me.

graduation picture Can you find ME in this Graduation photo?

 

 

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It has been the Year of reconnect.

Last January I had my youngest son living just an hour away for the  whole semester. He was back from the Yukon to spend the term plunging into his next degree.  He worked hard and did well. For me the best part of those months was spending time with him.

wood frog frozen

My youngest son’s nickname was frog and he lives in Whitehorse. I have frogs all around my house this one always makes me smile.

It was amazing !! I made sure I had a least one meal a week with him. Dave and I would travel up to Waterloo go out for lunch with him and explore.  I learned so much about this grown man who at one time I knew so well. Who he is and what he cares about and what makes him happy.

My oldest son lives right down stairs and I take him for granted. I see him often but don’t stop to get to know him. I saying right here right now I vow to reconnect with my oldest son. Treasure the moment. How I am not sure. I think I will try for coffee on a regular basis. It is so easy to take those and for that matter things that are in our everyday life for granted.

Jeff 2009 - Copy

my oldest son. He is amazing so much like his Dad.

I want to appreciate my glorious life.

Yesterday I had some exceptional people come into the shop. I want to tell you about one. She came in unassuming. She had a smile, that had light behind it, but she also had some place to be, she was watching her phone. She asked questions, lots of questions, not just about beads although lots that is where we began. She allowed the conversation to flow to me to my history to my past lives. (I mean what I did before the store to make money not literally past lives) She had been worked on the floor of the stock market a very male dominated world. We talked about Harvey Weinstein, we talked about our experiences in this world of making money. We talked about buying a car. Eventually I shared what I was working on. I brought out the fabrics I had printed (which I will share we you as well) on my holiday. She so appreciated the beauty. She left inspired and the last thing she said was “You know you just meet your new Best Friend”.

Magic that is what had just occurred. Pure beautiful and simple magic. I didn’t want it to go unnoticed. So I shared with you. I thinking she reconnected with her creative self and I reconnected with my child filling loved and nurtured.

 

 

 

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It has been a wild ride since August  and although I still  feel a little dizzy I’m pretty sure my feet are on the ground.

Andrew Thorton recently issued a dare,to

   start blogging  again

to anyone who had stopped.  https://plus.google.com/102743866608223228440

If you don’t know Andrew, I’m not sure what to say, accept too bad. To meet him is to feel special.  Within minutes of meeting him you  feel you are indeed a very unique individual. I have had this opportunity and  once you experience it you don’t forget. So I don’t read many blogs these days but I still read Andrew’s when I get a chance. I think I am hoping to learn how he performs his magic.

Anyway ……Back to the challenge and you. Yes blogging is about you. Ok I have to take the time to sit and write but in essence it is about going for coffee with you. Rewarding myself by sitting down and taking the time to chat with friends. So why have I not been blogging……. because I have been doing morning papers. http://juliacameronlive.com/basic-tools/morning-pages/

and yet…..I have even fallen off that wagon as well.  And yes

I feel adrift

Journaling  is about relationship.

Relationship is why we are here. Relationship is the key lesson in this earth school. Both forms of journalling , are the same and yet different. Both intimate, both fun, both creative, both worthwhile and  both revealling. Yet only one connects you to others. Morning papers connects you to self.  Both are hard work and both fun and  both rewarding and both take time.  I have decided I need both in my life.

Not sure how but I want to commit to having coffee with you again. I need to be more responsible and stay connected with such a great group of friends who have been there for me. My focus was not on my story this fall and therefore I not telling that story but let’s catch up.

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I have been learning all kinds of new stuff! Let’s keep in touch.