I thought I would absolutely hate selling off my amazing collection of beads, findings, metal stampings, tools, crystal, pearls and more.  Guess what it’s a blast. Mostly, because everyone that comes in thinks…. WOW!!

It is exciting to see everyone and to see them taking home theiretreasures. It is humbling to have so many warm wishes and concern. The warm wishes and memories are fabulous. Please no need for concern. I feel great! I am excited about this new chapter and plan on collaborating with some of the amazing artists I have met over the years.

I was sure this was going to feel like ripping off a bandage slowly but it is not. I feel like I am spreading sunshine and lollipops out into the word.  Who would have thought.

Below image is of some of “the lots” ready for today! Sold at a 50% savings mostly.lots Come on down, be part of the fun.

 

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Changes

Longhorne Slim and the Law

Things could be stranger but I don’t know how
I’m going through changes now
I’ve spent a lifetime trying to figure it out
I’m going through changes now

And I’ve just begun
Under a purple sun

There’s many reasons we are what we become
I’m going through changes, ripping out pages
I’m going through changes now

 

 

Ripping out pages sounds so scary and final. Thats not how I feel. I am excited and sad. I am tired and energized and I am  hopeful and terrified.

Right at this very moment as I write this, I am cautious. As a young person I hated change and fought against it. I think mostly because I was insecure and change just heightened my insecurities. I have learned that change does bring challenges.  From those  challenges arise opportunities!  When I look back, change was necessary and  made me who I am.

So why cautious? Because I am telling you this in a blog! I would like to be face to face. I would like to be telling you one on one, because you deserve it.

I hope you all realize that I think of you as friends, some even family but I have another role. I own a bead store.  My relationship with each and everyone of you is unique. I want to believe that I am a source of inspiration, as much as you are to me.  A resource to solve your bead problems and sometimes a shoulder to cry on.

You have helped me become the person I am, you have been there for me in tough times and you have helped feed and cloth me. I have loved our journey together. I am sure you have all figured out by now the news. I am having difficulty putting it down on paper. I am retiring and closing the bead store.

Oh I’ve been along for one hell of a ride
even though I may be falling apart whoa it’s been a beautiful life

Ah, the silver lining. This is not the end. I am busy building a studio space at the Lake House. I have many ideas I want to spend time on. Some half baked, some are cooked but need redesigning, and some totally new directions I want to explore. I will do my best to keep you informed.  The company taking over my lease (the hair salon  the other half of my world) is considering renting me a little space in the back for my metal benches. I will keep you updated.

Ok, that is a lot to take in.

What you need to know is I am selling off my inventory and I am going to de-stash.

 I know it is a a lot of work but I am going to do my best. Most people think about selling over the internet – it is not what I want to do. For me it is you I like!! I like interacting with you!! I like seeing your faces!! I like one on one!! Taking orders over the internet doesn’t do it for me. It wasn’t the selling of beads that kept me engaged all these years, it was relationships. Being around all the colour and expressing myself in beads making jewelery and teaching sweetened the pot. I am not giving that up. I love the craft and will continue, except now I might be sitting beside you in class.

So I can hear you screaming When? When is this happening? My last day is Thursday March 29th.

Liquidation starts tomorrow.

Starting with 25% off , destashing and some lots  that will be marked  50% off 

Words are multifaceted, and yet  we have done are best to make them black and white . We believe by doing this we make communication clearer. I am not sure we have. Time is much more than what you read on the clock.

I am up early this morning! I have had two play days this week at the store. My mind is full! Yet I have two more workshops I am doing on Wednesday and another play date next Sunday. It never rains but it pours! Truly the mind is amazing what it can absorb and expand on. The vastness of the inner space is unfathomable.

I so want to have the space to spend time with you. To catch both, you and myself up on what I have been doing. When I say space I don’t mean just time, I am referring to  a perfect space much like the perfect storm, where time, ideas, quietness and thought all come together. I know writers discipline themselves by writing ever day. Unfortunately discipline is not my major personality trait. I have always worked with intuition. I am busy with the store and family, therefore my own work,………  that is not the right phrase, because store and family are my focus, therefore  at the moment that is my work and therefore my journey and my learning .  Even the term work has been truncated and simplified.  The word work makes what I do way to impersonal. What I am saying is, I crave this process of talking to you and catching you up. It gives me such clarity and understanding and I always  feel renewed and hopeful. More than hopeful, powerful and clear.

The process of trying to communicate with  you and draw you into my life helps me to observe my own journey. It gets me out of ego and places me smack in the middle of my truth.  So at the moment,  I am collecting data that together we will turn into wisdom. Please be patient!  My taro card  on New Years day was the hangman on . With endings come new beginnings. The world is shifting but I am upright riding the wave.!

I didn’t watch the golden globes but this morning I looked up this and it touched me to me core. This is a very significant  moment in our history!

I

Recently on the way to the cottage, just as I was leaving Ancaster and not yet into  the rural areas between here and the there. I saw a fox. A beautiful red fox with a white-tipped bushy tail.  OMG she was glorious!  I swear she spotted me and  sat  down and  seemed to trying to communicate. Then got up and strolled along the road looking over her shoulder, as if I should follow her.

The image has stayed with me for weeks.   So I finally took the time to look up fox in my Animal-Speak by Ted Andrews.Red-Fox-red-foxes-13290271-1920-1200

It reflects that the world is growing and shape shifting  itself into new patterns that will be beneficial. ”  the book also says “It is often most visible at the times of dawn and dusk, the “Between Times” when the magical world and the world in which we live intersect.” 

I would not say it was dusk  yet but it was near the end of the day. For me it I  was in the between lands the space between the reality of my life in town and the magic of the cottage.  Yet, more than the physical space, my work is shifting.  I feel  I am in between two periods of work.   The beads are having to move over and make room for some new playmates.  I am not sure what this threesome is going to look like, I do know my work is changing.

My new playmates textiles. They brought along an embelisher and a BabyLock sewing machine.

Sharing all this with you might help bring clarity to the journey. If you follow me at all you have heard about my newly introduced play days. My idea was to share some of the new concepts I was exploring with other creative souls hoping the interaction would spawn more ideas, it worked!

It was not a lightening bolt or an explosion which brings clarity of vision. I have been in a constant flow  of ideas, joy and absolute fun. It can be overwhelming at times. I feel like I am in Ellen Degeneres’s cash cube. Trying to catch all the ideas before they escape.

So I am in the between world enjoying my time. I feel that communicating with the outside world will help me to honour these ideas, bring clarity and keep me grounded in friendship.  I am hoping the new patterns that emerge will be beneficial to all those that see them.

I saw the fox and I’m pretty sure he was telling me to pay attention and don’t get lost. Please stay and give me insight when you can.

 

Reconnect. Although it seems to have negative connections, something must have disconnected to reconnect.  Yet, sometimes it is just growth and forward movement that breaks the connection. This past summer I had two amazing reunions.

One was with girls I meet in Sunday school when I was 4 years old and hung with until I moved in grade 8.  I mean we did everything together, sleep overs, hiking and usually with lunch involved,   hide and seek around the light post on Second avenue or just walking around town so we could talk and or search for boys. We grew up together and shared or lives with each other .  Yet we all went our separate ways. It was a small town and didn’t provide a lot of job opportunities, particularly for women. Before the reconnect event people asked if I was afraid. I didn’t have any fear while that was 100%  true …..I had the fear of driving through Toronto. What happens if you don’t enjoy them? It just wasn’t an issue it was the excitement of reconnecting that was the motivation. I didn’t know these people so it was just like meeting strangers and I usually found something I liked about people.

I have never been so wrong. I did know these people. I knew them intimately. I want you to know those friends that you knew when you where so young you didn’t have any filters, any rules, and experiences that teach you how to act in relationships. They are special!  I’m not sure  this experience can ever be recreated. These friends and the uniqueness of these relationships has to do with the times.  It was a small town, a safe town. As children we had freedom. Freedom to wander, freedom to call on friends just knock on the door and be invited in. Freedom  to eat over, sleep over or sit for hours and do nothing but talk. Our parents  felt safe knowing we were nearby and everybody watching out for everyone else. It was a community in the best sense of the word. And this community built relationships that are the foundation I still stand on today. I may not have seen these 4 amazing women for 50 years but they were with me ever moment of every day.  They taught me how to connect with others, they taught me about community, about friendship, about love, about caring, about laughter, about secrets, about being. I owe them so much and yet I took them for granted.

I know this because I had a second reunion this summer my University class reunion. I loved it as well but for different reasons. Mostly it taught me how special my childhood was. I spent my university years in Toronto, loved it because of its lack of intimacy.  Loved it because I could get lost in MY work . I found out who I was, I found out what I wanted to do. I found out what mattered to me, without the distraction of relationship. I met me. Lots of time I felt alone and scared and had to learn to rely on myself and find my own way.  It’s not that I didn’t make friends, it just they were just as busy. The course was heavy, difficult and expensive. We were all trying to succeed in a very large competitive world. I didn’t fit in and yet I was supposed to be exactly where I was, learning exactly what I was learning. I stand on this foundation as well, fortunately it is on top of the solid foundation of my youth. I have the ability to pick out the stones to stand on, enjoy the learning and understand me! This is all  because of the friends I spent so much time with as an  open, innocent child. What a life! I am so grateful for re-connections and all it teaches me.

graduation picture Can you find ME in this Graduation photo?

 

 

It has been the Year of reconnect.

Last January I had my youngest son living just an hour away for the  whole semester. He was back from the Yukon to spend the term plunging into his next degree.  He worked hard and did well. For me the best part of those months was spending time with him.

wood frog frozen

My youngest son’s nickname was frog and he lives in Whitehorse. I have frogs all around my house this one always makes me smile.

It was amazing !! I made sure I had a least one meal a week with him. Dave and I would travel up to Waterloo go out for lunch with him and explore.  I learned so much about this grown man who at one time I knew so well. Who he is and what he cares about and what makes him happy.

My oldest son lives right down stairs and I take him for granted. I see him often but don’t stop to get to know him. I saying right here right now I vow to reconnect with my oldest son. Treasure the moment. How I am not sure. I think I will try for coffee on a regular basis. It is so easy to take those and for that matter things that are in our everyday life for granted.

Jeff 2009 - Copy

my oldest son. He is amazing so much like his Dad.

I want to appreciate my glorious life.

Yesterday I had some exceptional people come into the shop. I want to tell you about one. She came in unassuming. She had a smile, that had light behind it, but she also had some place to be, she was watching her phone. She asked questions, lots of questions, not just about beads although lots that is where we began. She allowed the conversation to flow to me to my history to my past lives. (I mean what I did before the store to make money not literally past lives) She had been worked on the floor of the stock market a very male dominated world. We talked about Harvey Weinstein, we talked about our experiences in this world of making money. We talked about buying a car. Eventually I shared what I was working on. I brought out the fabrics I had printed (which I will share we you as well) on my holiday. She so appreciated the beauty. She left inspired and the last thing she said was “You know you just meet your new Best Friend”.

Magic that is what had just occurred. Pure beautiful and simple magic. I didn’t want it to go unnoticed. So I shared with you. I thinking she reconnected with her creative self and I reconnected with my child filling loved and nurtured.

 

 

 

.

It has been a wild ride since August  and although I still  feel a little dizzy I’m pretty sure my feet are on the ground.

Andrew Thorton recently issued a dare,to

   start blogging  again

to anyone who had stopped.  https://plus.google.com/102743866608223228440

If you don’t know Andrew, I’m not sure what to say, accept too bad. To meet him is to feel special.  Within minutes of meeting him you  feel you are indeed a very unique individual. I have had this opportunity and  once you experience it you don’t forget. So I don’t read many blogs these days but I still read Andrew’s when I get a chance. I think I am hoping to learn how he performs his magic.

Anyway ……Back to the challenge and you. Yes blogging is about you. Ok I have to take the time to sit and write but in essence it is about going for coffee with you. Rewarding myself by sitting down and taking the time to chat with friends. So why have I not been blogging……. because I have been doing morning papers. http://juliacameronlive.com/basic-tools/morning-pages/

and yet…..I have even fallen off that wagon as well.  And yes

I feel adrift

Journaling  is about relationship.

Relationship is why we are here. Relationship is the key lesson in this earth school. Both forms of journalling , are the same and yet different. Both intimate, both fun, both creative, both worthwhile and  both revealling. Yet only one connects you to others. Morning papers connects you to self.  Both are hard work and both fun and  both rewarding and both take time.  I have decided I need both in my life.

Not sure how but I want to commit to having coffee with you again. I need to be more responsible and stay connected with such a great group of friends who have been there for me. My focus was not on my story this fall and therefore I not telling that story but let’s catch up.

IMG_3155

I have been learning all kinds of new stuff! Let’s keep in touch.